You
can interpret this saying in one of two ways. You may feel, “Hey, we all have
to try hard to make Mom happy; otherwise, no one will be happy.” Or you could
take it, as it’s your Mother’s responsibility is to be happy for the sake of
her family. Whatever perspective you
take, the goal is to be happy for everyone’s sake. Mothers are typically portrayed as the martyr
in the house, the one who sacrifices for greater good for the family. Having never been a “Mom” I am not in a
position to judge but believe this has to be one of the tougher jobs on
earth. This is especially true, if the
family does not appreciate and value her contribution. I believe whenever you see this sign in
someone’s house or hear them promote this philosophy you are in the home of an
under appreciated or misunderstood Mother.
The
sign that hung in my Mom’s kitchen arrived after all of us kids had left our
home and she was working full time in a restaurant that my Dad and she had purchased.
Prior to buying the restaurant they had
been semi-unemployed, living in the back woods of Colorado for a couple of
years after moving from Oklahoma. All
the kids had left home and they struck out, sort of chasing their dreams. They
were very happy during those years and it showed, they always had something to
do and seemed excited about life in general. But they had to find a way to make a living,
Mom was not excited about the restaurant idea, she had worked as a waitress
before and knew how hard the work was but there were not a lot of choices. I know
working in the restaurant was not one of the happier times of her life; she seemed
to resent the restaurant and having to work there but it did provide a steady
income.
This “sign”
was a reminder to all that sat in her kitchen you don’t mess with her or you
and everyone around will pay. As my Mom grew older her tolerance for “poor
eaters,” “average performers,” and anyone who did not measure up to her
standards seemed to decrease. As often happens,
as we get older, we become more set in our ways and as a good friend of mine
once said, “your shit tolerance level decreases.”
The
inference of the sign never sat well with me and I grew to detest the sign and
all it stood for. Over the years, I have
met other families who have the same sign hanging in their house or subscribe
to the same philosophy. Now don’t get me
wrong, I believe Mothers should be revered and always appreciated and believe
for the most part they are the silent force behind every family. But
the sign seemed to go counter to everything that I thought my Mother stood
for. I regret never asking her about it
but looking back believe the sign was/is a statement for disenfranchised
Mother’s everywhere.
A
Mother’s retirement check is and always will be how well her children remember
and appreciate her sacrifices. My Mother felt she had had earned the right to
stay at home and take care of the grandkids and do the things older people do,
when she was faced with having to return to the work to make ends meet, she
grew resentful. In many ways I
understand her resentment now but the sign never did her justice. As the
song says, “you don’t always get what you want.” It makes me pause and wonder what sign will
hang in your kitchen?
