Just Say No?
As a military family separation
is inevitable, there is always a TDY or deployment to cope with and these are
difficult enough, but for the first time in my military career I was moving to
a new assignment (Permanent Change of Station) and leaving my family
behind. The children were all in high
school and were doing well. I had moved
my daughter between the junior and senior years and was still dealing with the
guilt of having done that to her. In the
weeks before I left, there were lots of last minute items to take care of… we
were all hustling around, doing everything we could to remember every little
detail or item that I would need on my trip. We all wished there was some other way but being
in the military, when they tell you to move, you move. I don’t think I thought about it during the
preparation or had a real concept of what separation from my family for the long
term would be like but I knew there would be a lot of time to think about
it.
During the
time we were hustling about I wonder what Luke, my youngest son, was thinking
about? I hated being gone but felt like
leaving the kids in a place they were familiar with was the right decision. One day we were in Sam’s Club doing some
shopping, I think it was tires for the truck and Luke came up caring a big barrel
of the pretzels. He reached out to hand them to me and I was just about to tell
him to take them back that I did not need them.
As parents we often feel like it is our job to be the “no” without
waiting to hear the explanation. He
handed me the pretzels and said, “you will need these in Maryland”. That was all he said, and something inside me
did not disagree and so I bought them and they found their way into my RV.
Well I had been gone for about four weeks and had
taken the barrel of pretzels into work with me and through out the day I will
go and grab a pretzel or two to munch on.
As I was munching, I would stop for a minute and think about what Lukas
said and of course, home. It was one of
the best thoughts of the day and for a few moments I did not feel as far away. All because Lukas knew I would need them,
good kid.
It
is funny, that way, when you are apart, it is the little things you miss. Over hearing a conversation between family
members in another room, the scratch of the dogs feet on the kitchen floor or
the smell of dinner cooking. Being separated
is part of life but it is always good to have a barrel of pretzels to remind
you of what you are missing. If I had it
to do over again, I would have moved my family with me, especially as I get older. I cannot believe I ever gave up any time
with them.
